Never Say Goodbye

I don’t think I have had any good-byes where it was hard to say good-bye forever. My grandmother died when I was only two years old so I didn’t know who she was to feel that sad or talk about her death. My grandfather died before I was born so I don’t know what he was like. I guess most of the people that were close to me are still alive and I’ve been to many funerals in which I don’t know how I was related to them but my parents knew them. The only good-bye I could think of was the death of the sister I never met. I’ve only heard of her from my parents and my sister-in-laws about my sister that I never met.

My sister died while my mother gave birth to her and I didn’t know how to feel about it because I was born last. My sister was born around in the 1980’s and I was born in 1995 so I sometimes wonder if my sister had survived what was she like and how different would she be from my  other sisters. There wasn’t much information on my sister but I think I might have loved her. I love all my sisters and brothers no matter how much we annoy each other. I would have to say that I was intrigued by the idea of a sister that I never met being the perfect sister. I know it might be a slight possible chance that she could not be the perfect sister that I’m looking for but she could have been. There are so many possibilities that she may and may not be for me if she had survived. I would want to meet her kids who would be my nephews and nieces.

I already have a lot of nieces and nephews who are all beautiful and handsome girls and boys. It’s hard to say good-bye to a sister that I never met because she was never born and had died by the time my mother gave birth to her. So there wasn’t any kind of grave or a sacred shrine for my dead sister. I can’t say I have personally told her good-bye but after hearing the story of my sister that same day at night I whispered the words “I’m sorry”. I don’t know why I said it but I just felt like it. I know it may sound stupid but she would have been a sister I loved and because she didn’t get the chance to experience a life of her own. I’ve heard people praying for the ones that have passed away to wish those people good luck but for me I did not pray. After that night I kept thinking to myself how lucky I was for being alive. I do enjoy my life and even with its ups and downs I still prefer the life I have now and I think my sister would have also enjoyed this life too.